Boo

Being a Feminist is scaring - when you talk to men, that is. Why am I saying this? Well...

I intent to show the world Feminism isn’t necessary scary or aimed at men. And if some men are scared whenever you mention the word “Feminism”, we’re definitely doing it wrong.

And why do I mention it now? Because at the end of last week, I mentioned the website “The F-Word” in passing, just while remarking on something hardly related to Feminism, but mentioned there. My colleague (who is male, about 20 and has already sparked other posts here) was immediately alarmed, asking me rather unbelieving whether I was a Feminist. The idea alone scared him and so I denied it - especially as I know what kind of picture he has of a ‘Feminist’ and do not fit into this picture at all. But why is he so scared?

My personal guess, from the talks I’ve had with him in the past months, is that he has a very old-fashioned picture of a Feminist. One related mostly to the hardcore feminists of 68, women like Alice Schwarzer (who, admittedly, can easily scare a man if she wants to). To him, a Feminist must hate men. But why should we hate men? We may hate the structures some of them have created to keep us from reaching equality, but that’s not the same as hating everyone born with a Y-chromosome. About fifty percent of the world population are men and there’s no need to hate them all. We might hate some men, just as we might hate some women, for something they did to us (or failed to do). That’s hardly related to gender, then.

I don’t think scaring men with being too strict and too aggressive will take us anywhere. If we want equality, we need men’s support. Otherwise it will be a war, men against women. That could easily solve one of Mother Nature’s biggest problem (mankind), but won’t help us. It’s necessary to make them realize why it is wrong to be ‘more equal’ than a woman. Only if they realize themselves things have to change, we have the power necessary to change them. Without at least most of the other fifty percent of mankind, women will not make it.

So, this is for men: We, the emancipated women of the world, do not want to harm or kill or enslave you. We’re not going to try and pay back all the things men did to women in the past (if that is what scares you). We want to have the same rights and duties you have. We want to be considered equal (not in the “Animal Farm” kind of way, of course, nobody should be ‘more equal’), we do not want to replace Patriarchy with Matriarchy. We’re fighting to gain rights, not to take them from you. Admittedly, us gaining rights will mean you losing some benefits you have over us right now. But it won’t mean putting you in our place and us in yours. It just means we want to be in the same place.

Be a real man! A real man is strong enough to live his life with an emancipated woman. And don’t be scared - we don’t bite.